Archive for the ‘Introduction’ Category


Posted: June 16, 2009 in Introduction
Tags: , , , ,

rainbow shirt When my daughter was 4, she told me she saw Jesus. “He was outside the window. He had blue glowing eyes and was wearing a rainbow shirt.”

Sweet little girl. So innocent. I didn’t want to thwart her imagination, turn her into a stunted daydreamer. I couldn’t say, “Honey, that wasn’t Jesus. I know because I saw Jesus on the ceiling of a church one time. Just his face, white, like it was carved for Mt. Rushmore. He was talking to me.”

Nor did I tell her I’ve had someone try and cast demons out of me or felt the devil choke me with his hands.

And I couldn’t tell her that, though I lived all that, I don’t believe it anymore. I can’t say that because I can’t explain it to myself. Not just rushmore

I am reading this fascinating book by David Plotz, a writer for He read the Bible as a non-believing Jew and wrote a blog as he went along. Now it is compiled in a book, which not only is a great history lesson, but fascinating commentary of the mind of someone who did not grow up in the Christian church and his view of the loving God I knew since the manger cradle.
Right there in black and white, the Old Testament tells of the torment that God put on people–the plagues, the floods. He takes away free will and hardens hearts just so he can throw another plague at innocent people. The atrocities go on and on. I kept telling myself, hold on ’till you get to the New Testament David, then you’re really going to be confused. It seems like God himself got saved somewhere in the middle of the testaments. But David doesn’t read the New Testament. Why should he? He’s a JEW. This is all he gets.
So I have decided I’d like to do it myself. Not to continue what David had started, but because it is part of a personal quest. Some would call me a backslider, but I disagree. I have walked past, not back, from the faith I grew up in. From a dedicated missionary overseas to one who claims to be an agnostic now (an agnostic is one who is open to spirituality but does not take a god-like certainty to knowing the answer). I am not at a crossroads as much as I am on a road, turning back and waving at the religion I have left behind. So how do my eyes see it now? How will I see the New Testament now that I am not held to its stories and directives?
More importantly, can rereading this piece of writing touch my heart in some way? Possibly change it?